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Thursday, 31 August 2017 11:36

Find out your divorce date

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What if I told you I could predict the date of your divorce?

It’s an algorithm really.  

  1. how old are you and your partner?
  2. how old are your children?
  3. now many date nights do you have?
  4. how much time is spent altogether in the family home?
  5. how aligned are your parenting beliefs and strategies?
  6. how much control do you take on?
  7. how often do you go out with friends, without your partner or children?

These will all have a dramatic effect on your relationship and how long you are likely to stay married. 

Divorce DateAs parents, the two main subjects that parents argue over are money and the children. Some say roles around the family home come in a close third.  

There are a number of reality shows on television at the moment that show families where the parents are on the brink of break up. The relationship experts highlight how important communication is to save their marriages. If parents could communicate in an effective manner, the contentious issues can be resolved through taking the time to talk with and focus on their partner. So how does this relate to the above factors?

1. how old are you and your partner? – Younger parents have less experiences however may be more open to listening to others. The older we are, the more experiences we can call on, but it also means we may be more set in our ways. Which are you and how willing are you to open your mind?

2. how old are your children? – Children put different pressures on parents at different ages and stages. Some stages are more physically demanding, others more mentally challenging. Coping strategies vary amongst everyone, do you know your triggers and how you do or don’t cope, and how your partner does or doesn’t cope with these? What strategies could you try in these circumstances?

3. how many date nights do you have? – It is documented time and time again, parents need to have a once a week date night in order to keep their communications and spark alive. So many parents under estimate the value of date nights, and do not call on babysitters to help maintain their marriage. The opportunity to keep the connection and discuss life events before they become an issue is worth the effort to organise it.

4. how much time is spent altogether in the family home? Supporting each other as parents means being there for each other and the children. By being in the family home both parents are aware of the situations that arise, can relate when the other explains a feeling or situation and both parents can provide support to each other and a united front in parenting.  

5. how aligned are your parenting beliefs and strategies? – In an ideal world these discussions should happen before conception, but it is never too late to talk with your partner about parenting beliefs and practices that sit comfortably with both of you.  These discussions in an open, calm environment will mean the arguments about parenting will be minimised. Have you had these discussions?

6. how much control do you take on? – Expectations of others and letting go of control are often polar worlds apart in relationships. Making time to have discussions over these is imperative to keep a marriage together.  Marriage does require give and take… from both parties, what do you have to let go of or 

7. how often do you go out with friends, without your partner or children? – We don’t want to be defined only as our role of a parent. We can be a parent, but we are also individuals who need our time to be ourselves around adults that we enjoy being around. Making time for ourselves is important, whether our partner stays home with the children or a babysitter is engaged, we all need time to ourselves, it’s not selfish, it is actually better for those close to us. By being self confident we bring this into our relationship and demonstrate it to our children. Have you booked your next social night or event yet?

It is clear that the more time you can spend on your relationship one on one, the more communication that occurs, the more spark that is retained, and the longer your will stay in a fulfilling marriage. Are you a prime candidate to be a divorce statistic, or are you taking steps to have your time altogether as a family, to lock in regular date nights, and to enjoy your own space? 

If you need to take a break from your kids and enjoy a date night, visit Cherished Cherubs Babysitting and book yourself a trustworthy babysitter. 


Read 1076 times Last modified on Thursday, 21 September 2017 09:39

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