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Thursday, 03 August 2017 10:59

Does motherhood define you

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How do others describe you? Are you pigeon-holed as one thing but you are so much more than what people see you as?

Ness is a strong business woman, John an inspirational leader, Jane is Pete’s wife, Fiona’s an adventurer, Michelle is Jack’s mother……..What defines you as a person?

Does Motherhood Define You‘Don’t let motherhood define you’ was a quote I heard the other day and it really resonated with me. I hear people describe me to others. It starts with my name then I hear ‘she’s a foster mum, or ‘she’s a mum of 6 children’. It has been like this for years, and I have been thinking, is that how I want to be known? Is that too shallow and are people being naïve, or is it actually true, does motherhood define me?

Once we become parents and are busy raising our families, especially as stay at home parents, we do often lose our own identity and become more known for our parenting role?

Then I reflect and wonder what I am putting out there to get this view from others? What circles am I mixing in and what messages am I giving out?…. and then it starts to make more sense.

When I am at school I am a school mum. I rarely spend time there so interactions are limited. As such I am not sharing what else I am doing outside of school, so that I all people know about me.

When I am at work, well, it is a babysitting agency, so it is again interacting with many parents. To relate, to connect, to develop trust, we talk about our experiences and knowledge with parenting.

When I am networking with businesses, I talk about my skillset, which is in the childcare sector, fostering and parenting.  I also often present with a foster baby I am caring for. It isn’t hard to see the common thread amongst all of these.

Do I create opportunities to talk about my entrepreneur expertise? Do I elaborate on my array of education and general knowledge? How many conversations are around my personal hobbies that do not include the children? Do I leave my children with a babysitter and socialise in groups that are not parent orientated? If I did more of this, would I be defined as more than a mother?

Is there anything wrong with being defined as a mother? And who defines me, others, or myself?  

I am proud to be a mother, and I like that I can inspire others to think about their parenting skills, their relationships and the fostering journey. I have to admit though, I would like to be known as more than a mother.  For that to happen I need to put myself out there as more than a mother, and to promote my other attributes.

To the mums reading this, since becoming a mother, does motherhood define you? Were you defined as something else before this? Which one are you now, and is that what you are happy to be renowned for?


Read 818 times Last modified on Monday, 12 June 2017 11:21

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